Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I've missed you more than you'll ever know...

This is an exerpt from my photography blog one year ago tittled "I'll miss you more than you'll ever know"...I thought it fitting to blog about him here today because it was after his passing that my passion for art was awakened...I've always loved to draw, but for the first time in my life I can see clearly that this is what I was *meant* to do...

"I'm blogging now...as the kids are at school, and for the first time since September 24th, the day of my Dad's surgery, I don't have anywhere to go to visit him...He's gone.  He's gone now, & I have no where to go to see him.  He passed on Monday November 15th, peacefully in his sleep.  He had cancer and he just never recovered.  He tried so hard, but I could see him slowly slipping away with each week that went by.  I feel so empty inside right now.  There is so much in my soul that I can credit him for, he was truly my Kindred Spirit.  & I'm going to miss him more than words can express.  He gave me my love for music, my love for drawing, my love for animals, my love for photography.  It was the simple things in life that I can appreciate and know that he would always relate to.  There was never a pretty flower or a tall tree that he would pass up and not notice. All that is good and pure in me came from him, it's that feeling in my heart that tells me so.  He was such a unique, quiet man with the capacity to love more than I've ever seen in a person.  He cherished his grand kids and spoke of my mom as if she were an angel.  & during his last days, when he couldn't even speak, lay there staring at my mom and me as if he was laying his eyes on us for the last time.  The day before he passed, he saw my Jason with a tear in his eye and I knew then this was the last time we would see his precious brown eyes.

Although I'll miss him terribly, each time I look at my kids I will think of him & know that he will live each day through them. Rest in peace sweet Daddy."

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9 comments:

  1. Oh wow....i feel your pain..i lost my dad when he wls only 56..before i had my children..well jess was 1...i feel sad most days..he was a family man and when we were big kids he still did everything for us...my love of photography came from j
    him ..he could also draw ..i remember his help with all our school projects..your dadlooks precious...i hope the up coming time won't be too tough on you...take care j...xxx

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  2. How beautiful your words are, he would be so proud x

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  3. Joanna, I am so sorry for your loss. What beautiful memories you have to cherish and pass on. He sounds like a truly wonderful man. What a blessing that you were able to share so much with him.

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  4. I'm glad that you can share with us. His memory will live on through you and the stories that you tell your children. I'm sorry that your dad is gone, and I hope that you continue to find healing through your art.

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  5. Dear Joanna, I am so sorry for your lose. It is terrible! I lost my father to cancer too. You have written a beautiful post. Your love for him shines through.

    I truly believe the loved ones we have lost are always with us. . . praying, working with our Lord to bring us closer to God and ultimately to heaven. It does not make the loss any less painful but for me . . .these thoughts give great comfort.

    xoxo,lisa

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  6. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. He sounds like a wonderful husband, father and grandfather and I'm sure he would be so proud to read this. I am thinking of you, xoxo

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  7. So sorry to hear of your loss Joanna, Your post is a wonderful tribute to your sweet daddy. I also lost my father to this dreadful disease! My thoughts and deepest sympathies go out to you and your family at this sad time x

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  8. Dear Joanna,
    I've just read your post about your Dad, and my heart and soul filled with emotion. Every word I read was so filled with love and pain, I really feel for you and wanted to send my condolences and hope that his loving and much loved memory will be your companion throughout your life.
    Thinking of you,
    Marta Ramirez

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  9. Dear Joanna, I also lost my mum to cancer. I understand how you must be feeling. Although I also loved doing arts and crafts all my life, I also like you have discovered that since the passing of my mum I have this feeling inside me telling me I must draw, create, use papers and paints and collage etc. I discovered art journaling just this year in June and I am loving the journey so far it has taken me on.
    Your dad sounds like he is a lovely man. It reminds me of my dad, who is still alive at this point in time and who I also love very much.
    Best wishes for you and happy creating. Angelique
    ps I found your blog through Marta's blog.

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